It’s very likely your girlfriend has at least one fantasy that she’d love to live out and that you – were you to know about it – would be supremely over-excited about. It’s also likely that she is embarrassed to say it out loud, for fear that you’ll laugh at her, think she’s weird or tell Big Dave in the pub. So encourage her: whisper to her to keep her high heels on when she’s getting into bed, tell her how hot she’d look in a certain pair of very slutty stockings… whatever it is that comes into your head, as long as it makes her think, “Brilliant! I can tell this man anything.”
Know your subject intimately
Ensure you’ve done your research before you go buying her a surprise set of sexy underwear. And we don’t just mean checking her bra size – while you’re rooting around in her drawer also take note if she has preferences for G-strings, briefs or French knickers and silk, cotton or lace. They’ll likely be a mix, but if there are no thongs it’s probably because she doesn’t like them, dummy. Armed with full briefi ng notes, head to Agent Provocateur or online to figleaves.com.
Game of patience
Drag out foreplay for as long as you can. Even if she says she just wants you inside her, make her wait. The frustration and longing will just make her hotter and there’s something to be said for a man who takes time on his foreplay. While we’re certainly not averse to the occasional quickie, a man who can hold off earns our respect and comes across as more powerful. Which we like.
When you’re using a vibrator on a girl, err on the side of gentleness to start with. There’s nothing worse than a guy just pumping it in and out – we’re far more likely to get off on clitoral vibes anyway, and we can always demand you do it harder and deeper. On the other hand, asking you to slow down doesn’t usually contribute to the rampant atmosphere we’re both after.
Reflective mood
Using mirrors only works if she’s feeling good about herself, so there are some days when you might have to admit defeat on this one. But usually just after her period she’ll be horny and feel slimmer, so adjust the mirrors and watch yourselves having sex. Look especially at your penis slowly penetrating her – it can be a real turn-on for both parties.
Lube for lust
Planning another weekend-long sex marathon? Well don’t make the mistake of buying any old cheap lubricant (we’re sure to need it to prevent soreness, what with you being ‘so big’ and all…). Girls don’t want anything that looks gruesome or might prompt an allergic reaction. Pasante does a top-quality lube and there are a host more organic options at yesyesyes.org.
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